Saturday, 9 April 2005

Is It Love?

Is It Love?, originally uploaded by chantelle.

For those that didn't pick up a copy of the Lady Sovereign Random single with limited edition artwork or manage to nab The Sov... here's how it read.

Fed up of debating the political correctness of words such as wigga, and expressions like special needs, Freedom Of Speech Revokers have launched a new campaign against the word midget. A spokesperson told The Sov 'Everyone wants to be a goddam midget since Mini Me started getting the odd menage-a-trois' but we need to cap the ass on this one. We can't all be midgets.' Batting for the opposition, Lady Sovereign said 'look yeah, whatever innit. I might not be offiicial midget height but really what you gonna do about it? Blahbarians!' (Read opinion on page 10).

Prisoners at Brixton HMP were in for a surprise this week. Her majesty's sniffer dogs were called in for a random search following a tip off about a hot verse been dropped inside G Wing. One source told The Sov 'Couldn't believe it mate, there I was cooking up some noodles and this bitch was all up in my cell licking my leg and trying to hump me whenever she heard a grime tune come on Rinse FM.' Another snitch added 'It's all that bloody Riko's fault. The mug went and spat 16 bars over that Lady Sovereign tune but he was too hot. Heard he laid a right large one on her I did!' Prison officials are expected to meet tomorrow to discuss reforms that would see any future MC serving time signed to HMP Recordings, with all sales royalties going directly to the Governor.

A source has revealed to 3.30AM that the first ever grime panto is coming to town. The modern take on Jack and the Beanstalk will see alternative grime clown, Lady Sovereign play Jack, a girl who dresses as a boy and goes around jacking people's phones. We can also exclusively reveal that the traditional storyline takes a dramatic twist when Jack comes to a grizzly end. Unbeknown to Jack her sidekick, Leantalk (Medasyn) wants her turf and sets her up, getting a shotter named Giant, to take her out for smoking his beans and cutting down his plants. Rumours that Arthur Menta will play Giant are yet to be confirmed on going to press.

The Menta Home for sick producers has re-opened it's doors to new patients following a barrage of ill tunes landing on road. Those responsible for the onslaught include A Rucker & Sinden and Menta themselves. Danny told The Sov "It's like we've got the plague or something, put our tracks on in a club and people start freaking out. Therapies that we plan to use on Rucker & Sinden, as well as ourselves, include listening to Donna Summer samples for 12 hour periods and bog washing along to S Club anthems. The nation need not panic just yet."

Copies of Lady Sovereign's 'Random' are been recalled due to faulty artwork. Ross Allen, label cheese at Casual said 'Yeah some pleb in the company thought it would be a good idea to mock up a newspaper for the artwork, what they didn't realise was how much it was going to cost me. I gotta recall that shit and get it to a good recycling plant if I wanna recoup. You should see my ink bills too man.' Sidekick Joel added 'It was his idea, I did suggest we give them out in napkins but he wouldn't listen.' To return your copy and help keep Mr Allen's Mrs in Prada panties log onto

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