Bricklane Bandits

A friend of mine warned me about the perils of walking down Brick Lane these days. "On Friday night on the way home from the Music Hall, my good friend Johnny was attacked by 10 little cunts who thought it was really clever to hit someone round the face with a padlock chain and padlock and steal his records. When the police arrived they told us that 10 mins earlier someone was stabbed 4 times for telling some cocks they were driving on the wrong side of the rd. Speaking to my friends yesterday there has been a series of unprovoked attacks as of late in the area." Talking of jacking and such, we nearly got ran up on by a bunch of yoots in a Camden pub the other week. They were only about 14 and seemed more interested in someone agreeing to suck their cocks ("would you speak to your mother like that?", I asked, the response "yes!"), than actually stealing the drinks and cigs off the table. Very kindly they pointed out that smoking kills, I found it in my heart to tell them that in fact that's why I light up. Who wants to live in a world or share a street with kids like them? Life is miserable, If I could afford it and had some form of air conditioning, I'd be a chainer. Naturally, I invited them to join me for a fag break and put an earlier end to their sorry existence. And a late addition to this posting, having forwared the Brick Lane info to Collins, she just rang me to inform me that on a jolly out in east London last night, she saw a dead body, around Mile End (I think) and came home to find our area sealed off due to another shooting. Part of Old Street also remains closed this morning, another incident possibly. No doubt she'll post about it later but we gotta ask, how we livin'?