Tuesday, 5 September 2006

U Can't Touch This!

Hammer Time

OH. MY. GOD. Yesterday I think I got sacked for the first time. Sacking isn't some new road slang for getting jacked, nor is it to do with the act of tea-bagging. Sacking still means losing your job. Ok, I haven't actually lost my job cause I got a whole bag of them ones, but a small slice of pie crumbled. I'm actually quite happy about this a. I'm on a diet. Eating too much pie is waste (and not good for the waist). b. the pay wasn't even touching what the National Union of Journalists (NUJ) deem acceptable c. I've got a new column with The London Paper
who were feeling the blog style,(check Friday's edition). d. I don't want to work with anyone who thinks they can call me and talk to me like I was spoken to yesterday, about something I posted on my blog

Basically people, I'm out of Touch.

The last time I left Touch was when it closed down in 2003. I think. It's hard to keep up cause it's been and gone as many times as it's had new editors. I joined a while into Simon Das' reign, doing mixtapes & underground reviews and features, something I've continued to do until today. Long story cut short like hotpants; Touch Magazine or Paul McKenzie
thinks I'm disloyal and it would seem beyond the realm of employment, for blogging that a recent article about them in the Guardian was inaccurate, wrongly claiming Touch were the only urban publication. What I wrote wasn't/isn't directed at Touch and certainly wasn't intended as offensive to them. This I pointed out. Should another journalist not be acknowledged for submitting a poorly researched story? Apparently not. I learnt yesterday there's no point trying to rationally discuss something with somebody who's quite possibly disillusioned. It generated a barrage of swearing, cursing and questionable remarks. Whether or not you're loyal to a brand/publication, you can't ignore the truth. It makes you look and sound bloody stupid. "I'll go on record and say it again and again..." Yo, cuz, facts remain facts. Go look up RWD, Blues & Soul, Hip Hop Connection, Echoes... Touch are not the only urban publication. I know it, you know it, Comag knows it (and the sales figures). So what, we're all liars? Work with the truth and the truth works with you. I've said it on here before, got a problem ring me and let's discuss it like adults. This isn't road. It's business.

As a result I will no longer be contributing to Touch. And anyone (editor or not), who thinks it's appropriate to tell a contributor of five years... 'bang heads with Hattie Collins and knock yourself out', before putting the phone down, doesn't warrant much more comment. Oh, but will I be getting commission for the advertiser I sent your way a couple of issues back? You can't Touch this, but should you care to find it, the new issue of Touch
is on shelves now.


Anonymous said...

Fiddy,they'll never replace you. No one has got the underground links you got. They're just another mag who think it's all about commercial. You know what the yoots wanna know about; their local hero's. Anyway I see you reppin' for the streets in bare places so don't watch no face... having picked up the new issue and seeing that many pages on pop like Lemar, says it all. 1.

Anonymous said...


Fiddy your last year news like Curtis Jackson. Girl Better Know!

jane blaze said...


You out like George Michael...Girl Better Know, derrrked.

Anonymous said...

fuck touch
it looks good and its professional and all that and not amateur but touch has beeen looking like a giant pussyhole for a while now since they decided to just go for the corporate urban dollar
yeah i big em up for still doing uk underground stuff so maybe im being a bit harsh but theyve been dumbing themselves down for a while
the reviews are about 10 words long these days
i used to read it back in the troy convers days and at least then, it had a bit of a brain and wasnt all blatantly comersh
its probably gonna get more embarassing now i reckon with their new editor
he sounds like a complete fucking cock who knows fuck all about urban music
hes to touch what the nob muffler conor mcnichols is to the nme

Anonymous said...

its also funny yknow that in that time out piece on lallen and kano that lallen gets called an emcee.. since when?! i think shes wicked but um, no.

Brosnan (HF) said...

Chantelle... That magazine costs me £3.50 out of my pocket, which i only buy for the simple fact you wrote a review page for it! When another pie drops theres always another bigger pie about to fly right at you! Let me know what other magazines/newspapers you're (see i got the you're on lock these days) writing and i'll be happy to drop my £3.50 off there.

Anonymous said...

Ur well out of that one...like someone who wrote above i used to like Touch in the Troy Convers days...now its just crap...£3.50? I'd rather give my money to the homeless

Anonymous said...

I only bought the magazine because of your contributions, oh well I guess that wankwad of a new editor has just saved me 3:50 a month. Touch will definitely miss you more than you miss it. I'll be sticking to RWD, Blues and soul and yours and Prancehall's blog from now on.
Big up Chantelle Fiddy, too real for certain media mandem.

Anonymous said...

big up you Chantelle, and yay im now £3.50 richer every month!

Anonymous said...

paul fucking mackenzie is the biggest gak head i've ever met... he seriously needs to put down the crack pipe and seckle his skin!

i heard that a former colleague caught him wanking underneath his desk with 5 lines of coke already racked up for later... didn't know he was that in TOUCH with himself!

touch needs to RWD and come again! paul mackenzie - dat nuh mek it!

chantelle fiddy = bad gal for life.
unTOUCHable urban commentator, grime instigator... shhhh huh yuh muh!

e3 everyday bang bang!

Anonymous said...

paul fucking mackenzie is the biggest gak head i've ever met! He seriously needs to seckle his skin! Probably explains a lot about his emotions too! Ask him what he caught doing in an old office he worked in... Rackin up and the rest. Touch needs to RWD and come again!

chantelle fiddy = unTOUCHable urban commentator, grime instigator... shhhh huh yuh muh! e3 everyday bang bang

Anonymous said...





Steve O said...

Came here through a link from www.michaelmorgan.co.uk. I think he makes a good point when he say's keep the family business within the family.

Thought as a "showergyal" you'd know this. Whilst I disagree with you being shown the door in what sounds like a hatchet fashion. You gotta love the way in which this has generated one of the longest discussion threads you've had for ages...

Unless all these comments are by you Chan. Keep ya head up!

Chantelle Fiddy said...

Thanks for all the comments, good, bad... whatever and support. Gotta be quick but wanted to quickly this isn't some bring down Touch and McKenzie mission, i'm simply relaying a story. Freedom of speech permits me to do so. The point about keeping it in the family, what family? You respect your family, I was shown none and felt my arguement was falling on deaf ears. If we all shut up and didn't speak out, no one would ever know the reality of working in this industry. I'm sick of the bullshit so if people don't like realness then don't come to me. I'm a big woman, I've studied my trade and I know where I'm going... to the toilet. Back later.
P.s. The hit counter has gone up. Following emails from readers who weren't signed up to blogger, I've changed the option so anyone can post now. If I did a post about myself there might not be room for anything else.

Anonymous said...

chantelle i dunno if you remember me i said i would date you differently on an old ilovemusic thread and i just wanted to say condolences to you for losing your review job cos you were the most buff reviewer touch had i know you must be feelin a bit down so i just wanted to say that im willing to take you out to cheer you up and remind you that there are still people out there that appreciate you for what you do

Warren Dell said...

That's a shame to hear what happened, a lot of your column put me up on things I wouldn't have otherwise known about checking but keep doing what you're doing and I look forward to readng your next underground dance column in B&S.

KhaOs said...

Oh shit, fiddy murked them!
the link at the end to "touch"...joookes
did he REALLy say 'bang heads with Hattie Collins and knock yourself out'??

if so..what a prick!
in fact even if he didnt...what a prick

Black Narcissus said...


I came across your site through the Michael Morgan Blog. I kind agree with him that maybe you should of kept it in house but it seems harsh to sack you for what I agree was a badly written story.

I've done stuff for HHC which the piece stated was a US publication. So point out the error was no small thing I can only assume there's something more to it than pointing out an error.

Come on Girl spill them???


Anonymous said...

Hold tight - the ego has landed. Your pages will be missed and what a shame all this over a fact check! You've maintained your dignity unlike a certain someone that keeps mascherading as having the ultimate in media etiquette then sends out spiteful 'name and shame' emails and makes childish comments like 'you and hattie collins can bang heads together'...what?? come again?? Uhh?? he's a big man - I'm embarrassed for him!

Anonymous said...

I bought Touch for the first time this century when I was at the airport in August. The one with Asher D on the cover. It was piss poor. Apparently he's 'Britain's Mos Def in the making'. How fucking patronising. Then there's the minging 411 girls, and the most budget fashion spread you ever did ... 'touchables' ... a collection of photos of any piece of junk that landed on the editor's doormat ... looking back through the mag, the only good thing in it was the Illastate piece ... and oh look, Fiddy wrote it.

They'll miss you more than you miss them.


Anonymous said...

Looks like you're well rid. Seems like someones ego got a little shook - and well, you know what that means - matey's rockin a teeny weeny!!
Any magazaine that doesn't want objective contributers ain't worth the effort to even flick thru. move on and have fun makin him eat his words

Anonymous said...

I saw that name and shame email too, i'm not family so so much for the loyal team huh. He's bang out of order, trying to imply u done something that warranted the axe. Good on you for blogging and not doing it in little girl fashion. He'a got little man syndrome. And trying to imply you're a weak writer in that same email, when he can't write for shit, it's not even worth rising to the bait. On another note, saw the column in The London Paper, it's a strong look and good read. Keep it up. N18 x

Katie Pearl said...