Writer and Director: Tim Travers Hawkins
Mentor: Chris Harding (Shynola)
Music: Jesca Hoop
Voice of Bureaucrat: Adam Buxton
A verbose and politically correct bureaucrat gives a lecture to a group of teenagers on the merits of the UK's efficient and humane asylum system, whilst meanwhile, in the same building, detainees, imprisoned indefinitely in different 'Removal Centres' across the UK, leave messages in vain on an abandoned telephone answering machine in the ministry basement. Their messages detail the horror of the life that they have escaped due to conflict.